This week, Prepare virtually huddled with a large group of Empowerment Self-Defense instructors to share and synthesize practical – and critical – applications of our work during the COVID-19 pandemic. We believe:
- Safer physical boundaries might be the highest expression of love as we heed the call to implement social distancing measures;
- Verbal and physical boundary-setting is a life skill for a variety of challenging situations;
- Flattening the curve to slow the spread, protect the most vulnerable, and to ensure that our healthcare workers and institutions can respond at capacity, requires each of us to enact and sustain a new set of boundaries in the interest of public health.
In short, protecting public health is a form of defense because it keeps us all safer. We remain committed to helping you develop the skills you’ll need to set boundaries in life and during a time of crisis. For our graduates, we hope this serves as a reminder about the tools and skills you already have to draw upon.
The World Has Changed. Our Core Principles Remain the Same.
While we deeply understand that there is no guarantee of safety or health, we believe we can move the odds further in our favor by learning and integrating concepts like:
- Anti-bias education
- Safe Distance
- Instincts and Emotions
- Boundary Setting and Communication Skills
- Managing Adrenaline and Overwhelm
- Community Support Instead of Victim Blaming.
Below, we share how we model these concepts in class and some practical ways that they apply to physical distancing and the COVID-19 crisis.
Anti-bias Education
We believe everyone has a right to emotional and physical integrity and safety. In class, we examine the roots of violence – racism, sexism, sexual orientation, age, ability, immigration status, xenophobia, and more. Anti-bias education can counter harmful and racist narratives that have contributed to increased violence against Asian people, in particular, during the pandemic.
Safe Distance
Health officials advise us to maintain a safe distance, about 6 feet, from others. Turns out, that’s the same “safe distance” we model in class when folks are confronted with people or situations that make them uncomfortable. This translates to roughly two arm’s length, and a step back.
Instincts and Emotions
In class, we distinguish between instincts (the reaction to actual data and stimulus in our environment that is helpful in decision-making) from bias and stereotypes (reactions that are harmful to decision-making and to entire communities of people). We acknowledge that anyone can be a concern or a threat, including people we know and love. The misguided concept of “stranger danger” isn’t helpful in assessing threat in everyday life. Likewise, it is equally unhelpful in assessing the probability of COVID-19 transmission. Even our loved ones may give us an uh oh feeling if they ask us to behave in ways that go against public health recommendations.
Boundary Setting and Communication Skills
We all set boundaries with varying degrees of success on a daily basis. Prepare students learn to ask for what they want and need – and secure it – with increased success. For example, we can stay connected during physical distancing by letting people know what we need emotionally. “I feel isolated. Can you check in with me each afternoon via phone or email?” We can practice kindness while also setting clear limits. “Please step back a few feet as we wait in line. I want to keep us both safer.”
Managing Adrenaline and Overwhelm
We help students manage adrenaline and emotional overwhelm in high stress situations. In class, that typically means activating any number of responses when faced with a physically or emotionally threatening person. But we know that these skills – honed through the powerful arrangement of body, breath, and words – can apply to any stressor in life. Our students experience the benefits of adrenaline management when they deliver an important talk, engage in competitive sports, take college entrance exams, or execute a professional interview with success. We can practice grounding our bodies, gathering our thoughts, acknowledging our emotions, and managing our adrenaline through breath and posture to regulate our distress and stay present. We can take a break or take a pass or ask for an accommodation when needed for self-care.
Community Support Instead of Victim Blaming
Lastly, but not least, let’s avoid victim blaming and practice allied behavior and community support. As the weeks go on, the stories of who has contracted COVID-19 will continue to rise. Instead of blaming folks, – “What did you do wrong to get sick?” – we can focus instead on helping our friends, families, and neighbors (safely) through existing community support systems.
In class, we cheer each other on, share our progress in circles, and buddy up for conversations between sessions to create bridges and connections. We know how to do this. It may be difficult, but we’ve got this. We hope you’ll remember the sound of your classmates cheering for you and your courageous, resilient actions in the face of adversity.